when you let yourself down again and again and again,
there’s nothing to do but pick yourself up and try again and again and again.
***
life’s so messy nowadays, kinda feels like i’m in over my head. i jump from one crazy week to the next, the days blend into each other and i don’t know what i’m doing. i’ve got no time to think or maybe i’ve got no desire to think coz it’s too tiring. i’m not done dealing with one frustration before i meet the next, and in my head is a constant flow of images of whirlpools, tornados, running in circles… is this what working life is gonna be like? it’s not that i’m not happy, there’re actually plenty of things going for me right now, it’s that i’m outta control. i don’t quite know when exactly i lost control, as is usually the case with losing control, but i’m having a hard time reeling it in. oh boy…
